Reason #1 to love New York

I'm back to work on a project now, so I don't have a ton of time to update here, but I promise i'll get back to it sooner or later.

In the meantime, this pretty much made my afternoon. I really do heart NY. (from Overheard in New York... overheardinnewyork.com)

You Can Take the Woman out of Georgia, but You Can't Take the Spit out of Your Coffee

Waitress: Hi, sweetie, how are you?! Can I get you some more coffee, sweetie? Sweetie, you look like you've had a rough night, can I get you something else?
Queer looking up at waitress for a silent minute: Darling, I really hope this is your first day, 'cause clearly you are not skilled in the art of serving New Yorkers. I don't know how they do things down South, but here in the city you ask us what we want, you bring it to us, and you walk away. You don't make small talk, you don't ask what's wrong, and you sure as fuck don't call us 'Sweetie.' Get it?
Waitress: Well, screw you! I don't need to sit here and listen to some bratty--
Queer, clapping: --Yes! Just like that! Except next time, instead of 'Screw you,' I'd say 'Fuck you.' Much more effective. Now, may I please have a cup of coffee? Thanks, Georgia.

--Chelsea diner

Puzzling, or, the act of putting together puzzles

My day has flown by surprisingly fast, a fact for which I need to either curse or glorify my friend Angela - she pointed me to an absurdly effective time killer. If you are looking to do just that, go to www.jigzone.com. It's a website that makes all kinds of crazy jigsaw puzzles. My crowning achievement was spending almost an hour and a half on a 240 piece puzzle of some mountain at sunset.

And as I type out that I spent 90 minutes putting together a puzzle, I am reminded that i have the most ridiculous job ever. Really, truly, it's completely ridiculous.

Suck it up

It's as though at least one other person in my firm knows I'm starting a blog, cause they've given me something to write about.

I was in the men's room a little bit ago and this guy comes into the stall next to mine. I pay no mind. Then I notice that he never turns around to assume the sitting position (which on these toilets is harder than it needs to me... they're so low to the ground, every time I sit down, I swear my knees are at my ears... but I digress). So he's facing the far side of the stall, the side with the toilet paper dispenser. I think "Hmm, that's weird". Then I hear a single, strong, quick snort. Followed shortly thereafter by assorted noises from his mouth and noise that he was clearly trying to be discreet about. Followed by a flushing of the toilet (mind you, he hadn't actually used the toilet to the best of my knowledge). Followed by him waiting around as I left the stall, washed my hands and left the room.

The shocking thing about this is that I am pretty sure this is the first time that I have consciously noticed anyone using cocaine in my presence. I'm sure I've been around it, I'm sure it's probably been snorted while I was feet away. I just tend not to notice things like that. And not having any interest in coke myself, why would I?

Anyway, chalk it up to my first cocaine experience in the big city - only a year and a half to reach this milestone... what's next? Surely I'll be getting mugged or something like that...

Barely Legal?

Hello all (and by all, I can't imagine that there are more than a handful at most),

So I'm unbelievably bored... it's been reeeeeeeeeealllly slow at work for the last, oh, month and a half. It was great at first. Relaxing, refreshing change of pace. Now it's just dull. 10ish to 6ish every day in a windowless room, surfing the Internet and playing Scrabble. Woo hoo! So if I can do that, I may as well, you know, share my misery with others...

I had a brilliant, witty name for my blog, but it presented problems. The blog was all set to be titled Barely Legal - a reference to the fact that though I am a lawyer, the work that I do can barely be considered legal work. However, I figured that giving my blog the title Barely Legal (if Blogger would even allow such a thing) would probably generate an unintended set of visitors.

So Pleading the Fifth it is.Well, I'm going to end this post so that I can figure out exactly how this whole blog thing works (editing, fiddling with the behind the scenes stuff, etc.). Welcome to all who've made it this far. Many mediocre adventures to come...